I Heart Vietnam: Part 2 The North

Leaving my friends in Hoi An was hard. Leaving the five star hotel lifestyle was even harder! Fortunately my next stop was just a short bus ride away and England were still in the World Cup so life was pretty good. 

Day 151-152 Hue On my first evening England beat Panama 6-1 in the football. I’ve never really been into it but I felt really patriotic and proud to see our boys performing  so well. I tried to make the most of my short time in Hue with a full day city tour. I visited the beautiful Imperial Citadel, the oldest pagoda, garden house and many ancient Kings’ tombs. It was incredibly hot and I’m afraid my discomfort and sweatiness left more of an impression on me than Hue’s well known historic monuments, nevertheless it was very interesting LOL 

Day 153-155 Phong Nha On my way north I made a random stop in Phong Nha which turned out to be a delightful couple of days. The first day I opted for a tour of the paradise and dark caves. I was joined on the tour by the most fabulous English family called ‘The Dippers’; Paula (mother and better version of Binky’s mum in Made In Chelsea), Roger (son, actor and the most charming guy I had met in months but like all the best ones he was also gay), Ellie and Bunny (super sweet and lovely early 20s daughters.)

Me and my new Fam had a great day trekking through the jungle, flying down a massive zip line, exploring the caves and sharing  a rather stinky cave mud bath. The highlight of the day was watching Roger skip along the water obstacle course (bit like Go Ape) demonstrating his West End dance skills and diving in like a ginger Tom Daly! 

The next day, on the advice of ‘The Dippers’, I visited The Duck Stop; quite possibly one of the most ridiculous but strangely enjoyable experiences of my life. I arrived and was given a pair of jelly sandals and a Vietnamese conical hat. Next I was taken to an enclosure full of Jemima Puddleducks and given food so that they would follow me about. I then had a “duck massage” where feed was put on my feet and the ducks nibbled it off and finally I was given a duck to chuck in the pond. What the duck?! If that wasn’t strange enough I was then taken to meet Donald Trump. Not the POTUS, but the friendly (and preferable) water buffalo who let me ride him and pose for photos. Like I said, surreal but fun! 

Day 156-158 Ninh Bin/Tam Coc I stayed at the loveliest homestay in Tam Coc which had the added bonus of a gorgeous little terrier. I spent three days exploring the local surroundings and it turned out to be one of the most beautiful places of my entire trip. The first day I visited Hang Mua where my profuse sweating and aching legs were rewarded with  the most breathtaking view (see photo). 

The next day I got brave and took my first solo journey on the scooter to visit the Kong Skull Island Movie Set at Trang An.  What was described as ‘just down the road’ turned out to be an 11km death wish along the dual carriageway. I trundled slowly along the hard shoulder in my little pink helmet, screaming every time a lorry got too close and beeped its horn,  but survived. When I got there I was adopted by a large Vietnamese family whose boat I shared and was fed copious amounts of peanuts and oranges whilst rowing through the most dramatic landscape of limestone cast mountains and dense green jungle. Another surreal but fabulous day in vietnam!  

On my final evening I went with Ly, my host, and her friends to a nearby lake filled with stunning pink lotus flowers where we swam as the sun was setting. It was surrounded by mountains and the water was so clear. I have never swum in a more beautiful location in my life. Floating on my back and looking up at the sky I felt truly blessed and vowed to remember that moment. 

Day 159-161 Mai Chau The bus dropped me off in the middle of nowhere at a deserted petrol station at 11pm and I suddenly realised that I had got myself in to a bit of a situation. No taxis, no hotels, no streetlights. A random guy with his tshirt rolled up into a crop top sidled up and asked me where I needed to go. I told him and he gave me a price for taking me on his motorbike. What should I do?! I decided that the motorbike was better than being left in the dark…After half an hour of clinging to the back of the motorbike, winding through barely lit villages and rice paddies, my back aching from the 17kg pack, I was beginning to regret my decision.  

I asked how long till we arrived and his response was “You like football?” At that point I began to plan how I might escape should he really be abducting me.  I decided that I couldn’t run with the backpack on so my best bet would be to take my helmet off and wack him round the chops. Thank God/Buddha/Whoever is looking down on me that it turned out that he was genuine and after nearly an hour we pulled up to my homestay which was literally in the middle of a rice field. I cannot explain to you how relieved I was to be alive. 

I ended up staying at Minh Tho homestay for 4 days. It was very rustic but oddly luxurious and I have never been fed so much in my life! I slept with all the other guests in an open barn on a mattress with a mosquito net but it was so hot that it was a relief to be basically outside. I spent my days sat by the little pool or cycling through the rice paddies a la Julia Roberts and my evenings being made to eat crickets and drink rice wine… True escapism. 

Day 162 -168 Hanoi and Ha Long Bay Eventually I had to get back to civilisation and I got the bus to Hanoi. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing my hostel as it was a £2 /night including breakfast job by but it turned out to be the bargain of the century! The breakfast was particularly amazing and I became slightly addicted to pancakes with condensed milk and pineapple jam. I also made some amazing and eclectic friends including Eric, the hairy Canadian oil driller, Vadim, the Russian/German car photographer, Pia, the Philippino teacher who used to be a boy and is too fabulous for words, and Lara, the bohemian German/Australian banjo player! For once I felt very boring. 

I spent my week playing tourist including a magical boattrip through Ha Long Bay. I was spoilt for choice with museums. I visited the Hao Lo prison where John McCain was held during the war, The Women’s Museum, The Fine Arts Museum and the Museum of Military History. I concluded my Vietnamese education with lots of ban mi (Vietnamese sandwich), pho (noodle soup) and trips to the Temple of literature and the bizarre railway street where twice a day the train runs between the houses.

On my final evening in Vietnam I stayed up until 4am to witness a nail biting and rather devastating defeat for England against Croatia in the World Cup.  I felt for our boys as their exhilarating World Cup journey had mirrored my own epic Vietnamese adventure and it would have been the icing on the cake for us both to end with a victory. Football wasn’t coming home and neither was I…

Day 168 Flight to Luang Prabang, Laos